Peaches Geldof's husband and children, Astala and Phaedra, were everything to the British socialite. Despite the 25-year-old socialite's modeling, writing and TV career, her family seemed to come first. Especially on Instagram, where she often posted daily photos of her adorable sons, who will turn 1 and 2 this month.
But the reality of being a young mother with money was far more complicated than her popular Instagram account would suggest. In one of her last interviews before her tragic death, Peaches opened up to the British magazine Mother & Baby, admitting that she never planned to have her second son so soon after the first.
She also said that parenting wasn't easy for her. Talking about her unstable childhood — including her parents' divorce and mother's heroin overdose — Peaches explained that she often turned to her mother-in-law, Sue, for help in rearing her children.
"If I didn't have Sue to help me out, it might have been too much," Peaches told the magazine. "There's been times I've cried with exhaustion, when they're both screaming, and I've just had to sit down, breathe and be like, 'This is hard.' You have no time for yourself, even on the toilet – you have a baby sitting on your lap while you're having a poo, eating a sandwich at the same time. That's what being a mum is. It's not easy. It can be stressful, but it's the most rewarding thing you will do."
Though Peaches may have seen parenting as rewarding, many reports have pointed to the former model's scary weight loss in the last five years as a sign that she was unhappy. Some of the extreme ups and downs may have been tied to pregnancy. It's common that new mothers are so eager to shed the baby weight that they go too far to compensate.
In looking at photos of Peaches, the stark difference in her face and body between 2009 and 2014 is startling. Pictured below at a screening of The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus at the Cannes Film Festival in May 2009, Peaches' face and body are noticeably fuller.
During her pregnancies in February 2012 and February 2013 Peaches' body looks gaunt. Though her baby bump is extremely visible in the two photos below, her shoulders, arms and collarbone are stick-thin. Even during her short-lived modeling career, Peaches looked heavier on the runway.
In 2011, Peaches admitted that she used extreme weight-loss tactics to shed pounds quickly. “I do juicing, Peaches told OK! magazine. "You juice vegetables and then you drink it three times a day. It’s gross. I do it usually for about a month."
Disturbingly, she added: “I have days when I wake up and think, ‘I’m so fat.'"
It's not clear if Peaches' weight loss was connected to her death. But her interviews with Mother & Baby and Elle UK definitely pointed to the fact that she was not over her mother's heroin overdose that occurred in 2000.
"I was completely aware of the whole situation, the transition of my mother who was amazing, who wrote books on parenting, who gave us this idyllic childhood in Kent; and who then turned into this heartbroken shell of a woman who was just medicating to get through the day," Peaches told Elle UK.
"On top of that, there was my father who was very embittered and depressed," she continued. "It was like living on a permanent see-saw and very scary and sad. Those feelings have always stayed with me, they just never went away."
Though many fans assumed that Peaches overdosed when they heard the horrific news on April 7, no drugs were found in her Kent, England home. And police say there was no suicide note.
"I did experiment with drugs, I did get drunk and go to parties, but I was never that wild," Peaches told Elle. "I could have let myself spiral, but all the time I remembered what happened to my mum."
Now, reading interviews and seeing photos of Bob Geldof's daughter, fans are trying to piece together a puzzle of a beautiful and tragic life. There is no clear narrative or explanation of her Peaches' death and, right now, that's making the tragedy even more confusing.